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Beware of Dog


This story is both sad and uplifting.

It is both funny and a cautionary tale.

It may contain bad words and supernatural mumbo jumbo.

Proceed at your own risk.

My mom had a dog named Bianca when she died.

Bianca's story is a sad one and goes something like this...

My wife and I bought our house about 10 years ago.

After we were settled in we rescued a Pit Bull puppy named Lulu.

Lulu is all white with a black spot around her eye. People say she looks like Petey from The Little Rascals....she doesn't...but people say it anyway.

We used to take Lulu for walks around our neighborhood every day.

One time, we were walking her past a house that is directly behind mine when the owner, a young man named Doug, comes running out and says "Wow, great dog you have there. Hang on 1 second".

He runs inside his house and comes out with his dog (Bianca) who looks almost identical to Lulu except Bianca is all white with no black spots.

He slowly brings Bianca up to Lulu. There's some sniffing. There's some hesitant tail wagging and then finally, full blown puppy playing.

After that Lulu and Bianca became good friends.

They used to call each other on the phone and say "What up dog?"

...Ahhhahahahahahahahahhahahahaaaaa...."What up dog!"...ahahaha...get it?....cos they're both dogs....and...that's what the kids say these days...and...cos...and..never mind...

Anyway, we would bring Lulu over to Bianca and Doug's house often

so they could run around his yard together.

This went on for about a year.

Then one day, totally out of the blue, Doug died of a sudden

and massive heart attack. He was only 40 years old.

Bianca was then given to Doug's grandmother.

A year later, Doug's grandmother died.

Doug's uncle knew about myself, my wife and Lulu so he showed up at our door one day and asked if we knew anyone that could possibly take Bianca.

My mom's dog had just passed away a few months prior, ( man, there's a lot of death in this story ) so I took Bianca, who at the time was a very well behaved and very disciplined dog, and gave her to my mom.....who then proceeded to spoil all the discipline out of her.

Seriously, my mom treated Bianca like she was solid gold royalty covered in glitter.

Before my mom had her, Bianca was completely boundry trained, whip smart and loyal. Two weeks with my mom and she was a Reality Show Diva. If you threw a stick and told her to "Fetch", she gave you her version of the middle finger and told you where to shove that stick.

How did this happen, you might be asking yourself....well, this might shed a light on it...About 6 months ago, my mom invited me over to her house for dinner.

I opened the front door, walked into her kitchen and was immediately hit with this incredible smell. It was like someone was cooking a Thanksgiving feast at Christmas time. She had been slow cooking this seasoned chicken with vegetables in this rich broth sprinkled with cilantro and oregano. It smelled amazing.

I wasn't even hungry until I walked into the house, but once

that smell hit, I was starving.

My mom and I sat on the couch and talked for a while but all I could think about was dinner. After chit-chatting for about 45 minutes or so, it was finally time to eat.

I sat down at the kitchen table and waited.

My mom opens the refrigerator and pulls out two paper bags of take out Greek food.

Cold Greek food.

I looked at her and said "What's this? Where's the chicken?"

She says, "NO!", in almost offended tone, "That's for Bianca. We're having left overs".

So Bianca ate what I can only assume was the greatest chicken dish ever cooked by human hands and I had a half eaten Gyro. I can't even be certain who ate the first half.

Now, I'd like to discuss the "Elephant in the Room", so to speak.

I'm sure some of you had a disconcerting thought while reading the first half of this story. Even if, subconsciously, you tried to supress it, you know you were thinking it.

And that thought was, "Maybe Bianca is killing her owners".

It's ok. You can admit you were thinking it.

I thought about it.

My wife thought about it.

And we've been keeping a very mindful and suspicious eye on Bianca ever since.

I won't say she is killing her owners.

But I won't say she isn't.

However, if anything bad were to suddenly happen to either my wife, myself, Lulu or God forbid, all three of us, I want one of you to promise me, you will come to my house and take Bianca to the nearest police station for questioning.

Thank you.

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